Thursday, April 17, 2014
Focusing on the good. 2 months later.
My dear Brody Micah, you left us for heaven two months ago now. Time does heal, but the pain will always be there. We will always miss you. But the days do grow brighter and we strive now to focus on all the good things God has done through your precious life. Don’t get me wrong, there are moments when I cry and I still say, “It’s just not fair!” Like when your daddy was excited to tell me of his plans for the tree we want to plant in your memory. He’s worked out the details and said maybe someday we could put a bench under it with your name on it. I said I loved that idea! Then his face changed in an instant and he cried, “I don’t want a tree, I want my baby!” And we just held each other and cried together. We miss you so much! I had a moment today where I saw a lady stopped on the sidewalk in front of our house. She was pushing a stroller. My heart sank as I thought about how much I wish I was pushing you in a stroller on a sunny afternoon like this.
But as I said, it is getting a little easier. I’m trying to see God’s little reminders of the hope we have in Him. I was washing dishes earlier and looking out the window. I saw the littlest baby bird hopping around! He was so tiny and cute… but all alone. I wondered if he was ok. It made me think of you, our only son, and your little frail body. Just then, another little bird, perhaps a brother or sister, hopped around the corner over to him and then the two hopped around together and then flew away. I felt like maybe it was a little wink from God. That maybe someday He would grant us a little brother or sister for you.
For now, we just cling to our memories of you. We wonder who might get your heart valves that we were able to donate. We think of the many premature or sick babies that will benefit from the milk I’m donating. We thank God for you and the many lessons you’ve taught us. Like loving our family and friends and cherishing every moment we get with them. I could go on… but for now, your daddy and I just want to say, we love you! Happy two months in heaven!